Name: Amy Young
Setting: Outside Group Therapy
What’s the dumbest question I could ask you right now?
‘What are you drinking?’
Scotch and soda, but we’re talking about you. I see you’ve got a Corona.
It’s cheap and it helps me burp. I had Taco Bell. I’m going with a Mexican theme tonight. Is this going in the paper or something?
Yeah, in the Palmetto Bug. It’s filler for when we run out of news. It’s usually just a bunch of stupid, unrelated questions, one after the other. Your answers can be just as stupid, if you want. Or even stupider.
Gotcha. Like in Free Times.
Exactly. Have you ever eaten anything on a dare?
Like what? I once ate a really hot chicken wing. It was insane. Does that count?
It doesn’t matter. Sure. Do you like Steely Dan?
What about Aretha Franklin?
Are you into anything kinky, like Glen Beck or Innovista or masturbating to the Rant & Rave section?
I love Rant & Rave. That shit’s funny.
Is it as funny as Two and a Half Men?
What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever seen?
Two and a Half Men. Or maybe that other one, the cartoon with the guy who has balls for a chin.
Did you finish your sophomore year of high school?
I graduated from the University of South Carolina three years ago. I majored in hospitality and tourism.
That’s not what I asked.
Can I see your ID please?
Sorry. I left it in my best friend’s locker.
Is she around?
No, she’s grounded.